I Thought Death Didn't Matter
by Mad for Beyond Birthday
Summary: Look inside to see A's final thoughts, his last moments with his lover, B, and the tragedy that will always connect them. Warnings for: Angst, sort of lemon, suicide. Please read and review if you enjoyed.
1. I Thought Death Didn't Matter

**BB: Okay, this is my first A and B fanfiction, so please don't hate me if it sucks. This will be a three-shot (B: One in my POV, one in A's, one Normal), so if it doesn't make sense right now, please don't worry about that!**

**B: BB!!! DISCLAIMER!**

**BB: Oh, yeah! I do not own Death Note, Beyond Birthday, or A! Just letting you know!!!!!**

**I Thought Death Didn't Matter**

**B's POV**

I thought death didn't matter. I always knew when someone would die, and since I knew, it seemed like it didn't matter. That changed the day I met Afore Anarchy. He was the typical type to find at Whammy's House for Gifted Orphans: genius intelligence, pale skin, odd habits. His clothes and hair were often messy, but his eyes were always kind to everyone. They were blue as the ocean, so deep you'd swear you could see yourself reflected in them. There was one thing that I noticed about A that I couldn't take my eyes off of: his life span.

His lifespan floated above his head, just under his name, in obnoxious orange letters, and it showed me he had little time left in this world. I was surprised to find that this boy, who seemed to have so much life in him, was going to die, and die soon. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, so I tried to stay away from him. However, for some reason, he began to follow me, trying to befriend me. I resisted him, but he was persistant, and in time, we became friends. A and I were never seen without one another, something A seemed grateful for.

I, however, despised that fact. It made it hard for me not to care about him when i saw him everyday, made it that more difficult to watch his lifespan tick away. I had to deal with knowing my first and only friend would soon be ripped away from me, and I would never see him again. I have to live with the fact that A will die in just a few hours, and he told me he loves me. I thought death didn't matter. Now, I realize I was wrong.

**BB: So, what did you think? Suckish, good, angsty? If you like it, please click on the review button, and B and I will be happy!**

**B: Do it or I'll take over the world and enslave you!!!**

**BB: .....Please review?**


	2. I Thought I Matter

_**BB: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -hyperventilates-**_

_**B: .....BB, take deep breaths!!! -gives BB a paper bag-**_

_**BB: -takes deep breaths with the paper bag- I'm sorry, B, I just got a little over-excited. We are about to post the second story in the "What Matters" Series, after all.**_

_**B: I know, I'm excited too. This is the one in A's POV, and I'm wondering how you're going to do this....**_

_**BB: You and me both, B! Now, if you would please do the honors?**_

_**B: BB and I do not own Death Note. This story doesn't make us any money. However, one day, we will take over the world.**_

_**BB: .....On with the fic.**_

**I Thought I Matter**

**A's POV**

I've always thought that I matter. I thought I was one of the best. I was L's successor, the one who would take over after him. I always knew what it would mean, for me to become L. It would mean I was the best of the best. I was the Attempt. However, for every attempt, you must have a Back-up. Beyond Birthday is mine.

About B, as he's normally called, well....he's very strange. He has hair the color of old dried blood (darkest black), and pale skin, but that's not what attracted me to him in the beginning. It was his eyes. Those glowing red eyes that seemed like ruby gems; beautiful, rare, just there for the watching. And that's what they did: they watched. Beyond's eyes seemed to look at everything at once, but, for some strange reason, they always came to rest just above the top of your hair. I always wondered about that...why he seemed to look above everyone's head instead of into their eyes...

He's done it with me every time he sees me, looking up at the air above my head before he looks into my eyes. I'll probably never know why he does it, because I'm too shy to ask him. You see, I have what could be called a crush on him, I suppose, and everytime he looks at me with those eyes that glow like the eclipsed moon, I lose all sense of myself. I feel like I'm swimming through something taxing when I look at him, something that doesn't want to let up anytime soon. B helps me get through those feelings. He is my sanity in this insane world.

But, it wasn't always like that, at least, not on his part. B used to ignore me at all times, trying to think of ways to escape me. I used to think he might not love me the same way I loved him, but I knew I had to be persistant. So, I got all my classes changed to match the ones he was taking, started following him throughout Whammy's House, even asked to get my room assignment changed so that he and I were in the same room. I forced myself onto him, and, in time, he came to accept that I wouldn't leave him alone. He and I became each other's best friend, the other's _only _friend.

We were never seen without one another, and in time I finally got strong enough to tell B that I loved him. He said nothing against it, nor did he say anything for it, he just looked me in the eyes and murmured "....Afore......" I took that as a chance and I kissed him. He kissed me back, just ever so slightly, and now I'm the happiest man in the world. If I were to die now, I would die a happy man...because I know B loves me back. I thought I matter....but I was wrong. I'm not what matters, B is.

**End of "I Thought I Matter"**

**BB: It's done....**

**B: ...wow...you managed to sound just like A....**

**BB: I know....-goes into momentary shock-**

**B: BB? -waves hand in front of BB's face- ....Well, it looks like BB's in shock for the moment, so I guess I'll have to say this part. Okay, look, BB and I are completely new at this whole 'writing and posting fanfiction' stuff, so don't give us too hard a time, okay? We're trying our hardest here. The next chapter will go up once this story gets 10 reviews. Til then, all you readers, read on.**

**BB and B: Reviews will make us very happy. Please review us.**


	3. What Matters

**BB: It's almost over. This is the last chapter of the "What Matters" series....**

**B: I know. You've done a good job, BB. -pats BB on the back-**

**BB: I wish I could make it end differently, though.**

**B: it's how it happened, BB. A has to die. It's just the way the story goes.**

**BB: -cries- I know.**

**B: -consoles BB- BB and I do not own Death Note. We do not make any money off this story. Read on.**

**BB and B: WARNING!!! CHARACTER SUICIDE AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS! AND EXTREME SADNESS!!!**

_**Summary: This chapter picks up two hours after the first two, which occured simultaniously. It's what happens only a few hours before A's death, and what happens after. We hope you enjoy it.**_

**What Matters**

**AUTHOR'S POV**

It's been two hours since Afore Anarchy kissed Beyond Birthday, two hours since his confession of love. The two of them have stayed in the same room, A houlding B and whispering words of love into his ear as he strokes the messy black hair. He is happy now, in the last hours of his life, not knowing that death will soon rip him away. B, however, knows this, and wants A to know as well.

"A..." he whispers, voice soft as falling leaves. A stops speaking and gently tilts B's head up. He connects their lips in a soft kiss, slowly turning it passionate. B shivers slightly at the intensity of A's kiss, slowly beginning to dominate it. A takes on the sumbissive role, allowing B to do as he pleased. B tries to stop himself, tried not to give in, but it is hopeless.

B kisses A slowly, pulling their bodies closer together, slowly pressing A down onto the bed.

"B...I love you..." A murmurs, grinding his hips up against B's own, their clothed members rubbing together. B gasps soundlessly in surprise, his red eyes opening wide and connecting with A's own.

"A..." he moans, connecting their lips in another breathtaking kiss. B cannot stop himself as he pulls A closer, rubbing against him. A sighs softly, taking B's hnads and sliding them up his shirt. B slowly rubs the soft skin, feeling his mind haze over with emotions. A seems quite willing to have this happen. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, A lifts his arms up over his head, taking on the uke role.

"Beyond....take me." he begs, sliding his legs open, knees gripping either side of B's hips. B looks down into A's face, then to the numbers above his head. He has five hours left to live, and B wonders if he can change that. He slowly removes A's top, then repeats the process with his pants and underwear. B looks down at his exposed friend, then begins to undress himself. A stops him by grabbing his hands. B looks at him confusedly, his hands at the hem of his shirt.

A looks up at B and says "Let me do that," before removing B's shirt completely. A made quick work of B's other coverings, and soon the tow were naked, feeling skin on skin, body on body. The two moved together, one giving, the other takign, both loving...the night was perfect. B fell fast asleep after their love-making ended, but A did not. He had gotten up and put on a pair of pajama pants, and was now stressing out over what had just happened between him and B.

'You idiot! He probably just did that with you because he needed to get off! Do you think he could ever love you? HA! NEVER! He's perfect, and what are you? NOTHING!!! You may as well just kill yourself, otherwise B will never forgive you for this!!!'

In the end, all the stress, all the anger, everything that A had been hiding inside for too long became too much, and the numbers read zero.

The next morning Beyond Birthday woke up to a cold bed and the sight of his lover hanging by a rope from a tree outside. The numbers and name had vanished, just like A's life. Beyond looked at what _had_ been A, and finally realized that nothing could have saved him. Love sure as hell couldn't have, because A's death happened even though he'd loved him. Death would always be there, and B would never forget that. After all, it's what matters.

**BB: There it is. -sniffles- A's gone forever, and B's on the path to being who he is...-cries-**

**B: -holds BB- Don't cry, BB. I hate it when you cry.**

**BB: -stops crying and hugs B- I'm sorry I had to make you do all of that. Just when you thought you saved him, he was gone....**

**B: -hugs BB back- Readers, please help. I want BB to be happy again, so please send some reviews? If you don't, BB may be like this forever. So send those reviews!!!**

**BB and B do not own Death Note. If they did, A wouldn't have died, B would be in the series, L would've one, and everything would have been as it should be. Since that's not the case (BB: -cries-), BB and B do not own Death Note.**


End file.
